Church Boys/Girls are Boring — A Piece on Unrealistic Expectations

Nenkinan Nehemiah Deshi
3 min readNov 17, 2023
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

Some months back I made a post on how many Christian girls post pictures of Bible study dates with the caption “God When” but would run away if a guy who would do that came near them and of course it sparked some conversation. Especially the age old conversation on Christian boys/girls being boring and lacking in game and fun.

Well. I won’t argue that. And if you are one of them “boring” Christian boys/girls, mbok, repent. Our God is not a boring one. Try to do better. But this article is not about that. I’d let more qualified people write that article. Today I want to talk about unrealistic expectations Christian Youth have as regard relationships and life in general.

One challenge we face is we want to follow Christ but we still want the thrills of life and that’s where the problem comes. Our call literally involves sacrifice and making peace with the fact that we will live as exiles this side of heaven and forgo plenty things and thrills for the joy set before us. The problem is we don’t make peace with that fact and we struggle with it.

From trying to create “Christian” parties like their worldly counterparts without the bad music, drugs and alcohol to creating songs that speak of being equally high on the “Most high” as others are drunk on wine to even expecting Christian brothers/sisters to be like their worldly counterparts minus drugs, alcohol, and sex (sex as an act not the other things that allegedly lead to it) we struggle.

Here’s the fact of the matter.

We will never be like the world. And that’s on period. And our identity statement says “You are a royal priesthood…SET APART”. As we are set apart, so our music, lifestyle and even relationships must be set apart.

When we engage in art like music for example, we’re not trying to pattern our art after what is in vogue, we are on a mission to make it sanctified and life giving. That’s what we’re after. Excellence is our watchword and God who is the source of all creativity leads us to display his glory through our art.

Of recent a movie, “Praise This” aired and I hate it with every fiber of me. Low Theology, terrible storyline, flimsy “gospel songs”. And what made me most angry is, we enabled it. We created room for that mockery with our trying to make “vibey” music and art. Don’t get me wrong, I am a Christian music enthusiast, I LOVE Christian hip hop and trap that is excellent and glorifies God. But I don’t condole low mid Theology added on vibey beats.

Back to talking about relationships.

Dump your unrealistic expectations. You want a Godly relationship with a Christian man or woman? Prepare to make sacrifices.

That might involve not seeing often, or having zero PDA (public or private) or only participating in group activities or even regulating time spent on phone calls. I used might on purpose because every relationship differs and the sacrifices and disciplines one or both partners have to make to maintain decorum and purity differ. One or both partners might have to sacrifice for the sake of the other and the sanctity of the relationship. Some can handle all the aforementioned and if you are one of them, bless God.

Neeways. My point is.

There is no part of the Christian journey that neglects sacrifice.

That neglects knowing and internalizing that we are not of this world. That neglects delaying gratification. And don’t expect your relationships with the other gender or your art to be different.

Thanks for reading. Further conversation is open in the comment box.



Nenkinan Nehemiah Deshi

Unashamed | Missionary; Claire Aid Foundation, Stefanos Foundation | Writer/Content Development; Sarauta Network | Encourager | YWAP