On Fatherhood and Mentorship
As I grow up, one thing I both dread and anticipate is becoming a father. Becoming a father is a lot. It's God looking at our frail flawed humanity and entrusting his fearfully and wonderfully made creations into our hands. To love and to guide them to achieve his pre purposed plans and not the ones we create for them. That is a lot!
One thing I've also come to realize is the quintessential role fathers play in the growth and development of their children in all areas. Especially spiritually which is the focus of this post. Many a crisis of faith and identity can be linked to Fatherhood and parenting. In the classic trauma healing material and others, there's a topic on how our relationships with our Earthly fathers affect that with God.
A father can teach his child God's character through parenting.
I'd share a personal example.
In 2021, I was rushing to school for an exam from a bible study preparatory class. This was around 8:40am. I took an unfamiliar road and was speeding because exam was 9am. I didn't see a Tee junction and I crashed full head into an SUV crossing the junction. My first line of action was call Daddy. My dad showed up almost immediately and my other dad Uncle AB rushed me to school. It took time to settle and write my paper that I was late for but I sailed through.
I finished my paper and I didn't want to go home because I don cast. But I had to. I set out for home. When I was on the way my dad called to ask where I was. In my mind I said, "E don cast. You go collect query. Your driving days are over". I got home and met my dad in the living room. This man look me and said sorry for what happened. In my mind I'm like, "Oga na me suppose dey sorrry now". Then he tells me how lucky I am this is my first accident in driving and how these things happen. I ask how much he gave the person I hit and he calls a huge amount. I knew the way I saw my motor (which is his), amount go pass.
But that wasn’t the biggest shocker. On Monday morning, this man asked if I had an exam and I responded in affirmative. He gave me his car keys and said he had just returned from buying fuel so I could go to school with the car. Brethren, that was the first time I took me a full hour to get to UJ. I drove like a learner!!
My father was possibly just being himself but that was the day I understood the concept of grace in full dimensions. And I cannot not be a gracious person after that experience. And that is just one lesson I've learnt from my father. I have studied and learnt about grace but it didn't hit like that day.
We have an indispensable role to play men.
Our job doesn't stop at "planting seeds" or paying fees and feeding. We get to partner with God in raising soldiers in his army! That's the most divinest (allow me) assignment. We can't fail or slack.
Tomorrow is father's day. Shout out to all fathers (and mothers who serve as father's) who hold it down and show the fathers love. We celebrate you.
Shout out to father's who struggle and future father's (my squad), God help us to do the best we can through Christ who gives us strength.
Happy Fathers Day! May we be them. May we love them. Make una celebrate una father's tomorrow oh! Na one day a year them get.
P. S. This picture is from 2019 and the last time I and my dad took a picture together. Forget all this banter, man is anti romantic. Maybe I learnt from him and that's why...
