On Life — The Reason of Living — And Death
For some time I lived like a living ghost. By living ghost I mean I was living but as someone who had just a few seconds to remain on this earth and that's not a bad thing. Infact that's the right stance we should all have. That we don't live like tomorrow is promised because it isn't. That the principle that guides our pursuits is the question of tomorrow. The question of what will I be remembered for if I drop now? and the question of does this have value? One of the greatest of my daily tasks now is finding the balance of life. But I'll take you through my journey first in the hope someone comes out of a cycle and lives well.
First I went through a season of depression which was triggerred by death. I've seen and still see great storms in my short life. And at that age just 19-21 I was so fed up that I wanted no business with life. I spent nights begging God to just take me inside the night. And whenever someone died I got angry that God would take someone who in my view had more purpose in this world. Like when I lost my second mom I was mad. Asking God why he would take people's mother. In my mind if I died na just small kuka after everybody go move on. I simply didn't want to suffer any longer in this world of it would end just like that one day. I still fear getting married. I wonder so I'll marry somebody's daughter and give her multiple belle than one day God will just decide to cut my light chai! To be honest how God delivered me from that viscous circle of doom without professional help is one of my million little miracles.
Then there's the other extreme which is one of the gods of our Generation - YOLO - You only live once. Living frivolously. The Bible Best describes it - The Fool says there is no God. Thankfully I didn't go through this phase bless my Conservative nature.
So now the challenge is finding the middle. Living like today is the last but still living. The temptation is to be a living ghost. Like I said in my first paragraph that was me for a very long time - I still battle with it. Living without plans or aspirations because no one knows tomorrow. Waking and just taking everyday as it comes but that is not the way to live. A common saying says "Fail to Plan and Plan to Fail". We cannot live by chance or incidence. We have to take charge of our lives. Some people like me hate useless pursuits and that's okay. Our grand patron ancestor C.S. Lewis once quipped, "Everything that is not eternal is eternally out of date". So we go to the father everytime and ask Lord what would you have me do. We make our plans and talk to God about them.
Another struggle I face is my plans versus God's plans. Sometimes I ask myself why bother make Plans when God's will is what will happen (as my hand don fall once or twice). But here's what the wisest man says, "Commit your plans to the Lord". Make plans. Your dreams and goals and aspirations are valid. Draw castles in the sky. Set your life calender no matter how crazy and commit them to God. I've told myself and now tell you - the brain and imagination you have are God given and that's a fact! And I have come to discover that the more you walk with God - even your imagination and vision and dreams align with his.
In conclusion Uncle David prayed a beautiful prayer - Teach me to Number my days that I may apply wisdom. God will teach you. But he doesn't want you to be inactive. Infact most of the greatest men we revere died and still had dreams before dying. To us they were cut short. To God they began the work and someone else has been purposed to continue it - Paul Planted. Apollos Watered. Martin Luther King Jr. One of my GOATs famously and prophetically preached a sermon titled "I have seen the Mountain top" The night before his assassination. He didn't live see the complete eradication of racial struggles in America but he planted the seed and we still revere him today.
This is how to live. Live well. Remember there's also YODO - You only Die Once
