On Love and Shooting Shots and Patience
Love. Love. Love. Powerful Force but no theory. No one size fits all. No standardized materials and methods.
Few months ago, while studying Genesis, we read a wonderful love story of one of the first lover boys. J Boy aka Israel! So, the bible gives us the impression that Jacob was the ajebo son but after his scheming’s he was sent away from home alone. On his journey it appears he gains some ‘pakoness’ and arrives at Paddan Aran. On Arriving, he asks the shepherds why they aren’t watering sheep and they say they’re waiting for others to come then they roll the stone which possibly implies the stones weight. Then he asks if they know Laban his Uncle and they point to Rachel oncoming to water her sheep. Ladies and Gentlemen Love at first sight occurred. J Boy the Ajebo rolled the stone alone and watered the sheep and shot his shot immediately with tears sef! On to meeting her father and making a deal to work for 7 years for Rachel, the bible says something interesting. It says, “They seemed like a few days to him because of his love for her”.
Over time I’ve also been considering our Parents and how their Love Stories happened and I find the waiting story more in their generation. You hear of how she didn’t like him but he waited and eventually she did. But over to my generation. I fear that waiting is almost non-existent. And not just waiting but the whole game of love has become tougher and more ambiguous and complicated. Why? And how do we solve this?
In my little thinking I have almost concluded that one problem my generation has is that we are the consumer minded generation. See we grew up with so many choices. Tired of Boomerang, Watch Disney Channel. The phone doesn’t work, get another one. We have a lot of privilege other generations didn’t have and subconsciously we have become a consumer minded generation and it affects our relationships. For the purpose of this piece, this works two ways both for Men and Women.
For men, we go ‘fishing’ but without a bone of determination. We approach the girl. Ask her out. She says No. Fine. On to the next one. We slide into another dm (sorry we’re inside 5 dm’s at once). There is no determination. And in most cases no game even. Talk to the girl for less than 3 weeks and boom you’re asking for more. No deep base friendship. Like the air gone! In some cases, the right process is followed but still we don’t handle rejection well and, in some cases, a little wait might do the trick. I’ll leave it for now.
For women, there are plenty fishermen in the sea so the same thing comes to play. First sisters be finding perfect men. So, when Mr. One or two lapses that are not grievous comes, because there are 10 other men in the DM she pushed Mr. Lapses away. Or she starts to give green light and then suddenly puts big boulders on the road. Why? Because consumer-based generation. We now shop for finished work partners not works in progress. (Please note I dissected men’s case more).
When I was writing this, I asked for opinions and I got a lot of insights so I’m going to incorporate them into the recommendations I want to make.
1. Dear Brothers. Don’t play around biko. Take this Relationship thing Serious. Why do you like a girl? Ask yourself and really think it through. Then start a friendship and be determined to run it as friendship first. This state is critical because you might see reasons to unlike the like and save yourself wahala. If friendship works and lasts then aim at deeper friendship to really know her. If you do this well, I think you would know how to shoot your shot and which angle to take or if to let it be for a while. When all the work is done then shoot well in the language she will understand. And if she says no don’t be childish and end a friendship remain there, your ticket might just cut.
2. Number One Applies to My Dear Women Too. Yes, You Dears. No shy to shoot shot abeg.
3. CLARITY IS KEY! Clarity is very key. A lot of this cat and dog romances would be solved with clarity. Do you want to shoot shot? Do it with clarity and not half half. Don’t be calling the girl everyday then suddenly stop and continue after two weeks. Abeg! And women be clear what you want. This relates to Point 4 — be decisive. This recent wave of indecisiveness abeg its not cool abeg. Don’t rush decisions on relationships but don’t delay too much either. Make a decision and stand your ground. If you no like him just talk am. No dey make am think say green light dey then come and put green light. Now I know its hard to not green light your friend who wants more but try.
4. BE DECISIVE. I don talk am already
Some of the suggestions I got are worth mentioning. Someone says:
5. Attach Time Frames to Shoot Shots. I laughed when I read this but it has some sense. I once had an encounter with an indecisive girl and last last I had to attach a time bomb. So this might make sense but use it as discretion abeg. And know the person you are dealing with. Hence the usefulness of friendship stage.
6. FRIENDSHIP FIRST! I’ve said this already but I must repeat. Do not jump the friendship stage bros abeg. Its Important. And sisters don’t allow them jump it!
I don almost knack 1000 words chimo! Time to run away. In conclusion. Be wise in everything abeg and ultimately seek wisdom from God. Baba has the master Game he go teach you well. And remember e no get formular. One day I go write story of how I entered womans DM and she became Babe inside one month but wait make I marry am first! Abeg if you wan drag me for comments do am small small ko. Love and Light!
